sunrise

Due to the fact that I've been 'room-ridden' these past few days studying for finals these are pictures from my room window, all the way up on the 14th floor of my building. 

After a while, I did get tired of studying, distracted would be the better word, and as always when that happens I get creative. I made this out of cork tile squares put them up on the wall and let my creative juices flow. I love the way it turned out! Currently, I'm just finishing up on my last few finals, thank God! And I should be home by Friday, getting more anxious by the second!

avatared.

i've posted this before, i felt like it needed a repost 

the only, ONLY thing I plan to do this christmas:

 tell my mum not to buy me my boots, and give me the money instead so I could shop 'til I drop.

Not going to a fashion forward school totally sucks!

consider this my reiteration
Miss, I wanna read into your nature like the deepest of liter-a-ture
Miss, I'm trying to be in your space without being in the way of your dreams and education.
Let me say this,
the realest bitch in the room her living situation ain't too good so her living begins in June.
Miss, couldn't get them Jimmy Choos cause tuition is due
Miss, wherever you S-A-T, I want to A-C-T like I want to get into U,
no particular school
Miss, made some new friends stepping with crews
Miss AKA, Miss Crimson and Cream, Miss Unaffiliated 
But, whatever it is baby, I hope you pledge to your dreams, forever my queen..

consider this my reiteration..

emergency blue phones

I don't need a man in order to feel like woman, but I do want one with me in those heavy moments when I'm feeling weak, tired, and lonely. I want him to know me, and to show me, that he respects what I bring to the table, I want him to be able to accept my strengths and my confidence without thinking that that makes him weak and lacking. I don't need a man with a lot of money, but I do want one that's packing, packing his own goals, and his own dreams, one who holds womanhood in high esteem, starting with his mother. Now, I don't need a man of any particular color, but I do want a brother, one who openly loves God more than he could ever love me, he'll even go to church with me, he will hurt with me, he'll search with me when I'm trying to find answers to lost questions, he's a blessing. I don't need a man with a lot of religion, but I do want one who believes in God, and as such, he's in touch with the truth, therefore he doesn't habitually lie, nor will he deliberately make me cry, but he will tell me, not maliciously, when I'm wrong, hold me when I feel like I can't hold on, and on personal matters , he keeps the business at home because he's grown, therefore he sees past the physical beauty that the world is showing, and he'll fearlessly dive into the wildest of my unknown. Once there, he would create and sail into a home of absolute harmony, blissfully, with me. And, as for me, I'm gonna love this man so deep, I'm gonna love him for keeps, ya'll, I'm gonna love this man until lemons become sweet, until the Earth crumbles into the sea, until religious fanatics and scientists agree. I'm gonna love this man until all atheists bow down on their knees and faithfully worship some form of holy deity, I'm gonna love him until all [innocent] men in prison are free, and justice embraces them wholeheartedly. Then, finally, just so all of you understand, I don't need a man who thinks I'm supposed to make him feel like a man, but I do want a man who knows that he is the man.

Bonnie- My Man..

I've been a lot into photography lately...

thursday night in a dorm room..

Mary Fons, "I love you."

this poem is for the pillow clutchers
for those looking into the imaginary eyes of the person who fills their mind with sugarplum smiles
for those who have a cannon of dreams ready and waiting to blossom
for the men and the women who want to be understood in that way that only someone who kisses you can understand you
this poem is for you

this poem is not for the desperate
pathetic
the lame
the loser
not for the one who hasn't gotten laid in a while
not for the one who says they're "choosing" not to date for a while
there is no such thing
this poem is for people who cannot bring themselves to admit that they would give their right leg for any length of time with the person on their mind

forgive me.
I am not a brave woman
I do not know what lurks in the hearts of humans, I don't even want to know.
if what's there mirrors memories that show in my face on bad days
and holds kisses that are long gone
people who have disappeared
and passions that faded into the ether of the past
nothing lasts.
and that is the one lesson this coward can say she is able to teach

this poem is for all those who wish to say "I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry I couldn't love you, you deserve love"
"I'm sorry I couldn't give something you deserve to be given to"
"I'm sorry that for every person that loves somebody, another person just doesn't want to."
And sometimes we're the lucky ones, right?
We get to feel sweet truth in the night
bodies we reach out to are miraculously there
but i know the despair that comes when they're NOT
I know the long nights, and the doubt, and the fear
and the crawling back to a womb that just isn't there
I know intensity's address and the let down that rents there
I'm sorry for it.
It takes years off your life.
And it cannot be avoided.

and sometimes these little words are the crutches for the crush that we feel
so this poem is a pathetic vehicle for me to tell you that you're wonderful
I love you.
in so many ways.
In the same ways that stay up nights and days dreaming up the perfect way to be there for someone
meals you would cook for them
poems you would write for them
and the things you plan to say when they say "No."

Well, I love you.
and you will never know how in the slight of a magician's hand we could've been lovers and grandly in love
Could've changed the whole game
written words on the horizon
could've changed the compromise
but you will know something else instead.
Bitter as bitter ever gets, bitter than a rotten peach pit,
more bitter than a child's most terrifying nightmare
You will know that I don't reflect what I see in your eyes
we'll share some banal recognition, some cordial understanding
Did I mention that I love you for being honest?
Have I mentioned that I love you for not lying?
So many people lying all the time, I hate them
So I love you.

And you will still go home alone.

And that is very hard to do.

For all the humans with love for those who aren't their lovers,

I love you.


And so the poem ends because we know that it will
but before it slips away, like everything else,
I will attempt the only words I can think of that are a fraction as good as a kiss...
When you stay at home at night thinking of those who are long gone, or those who are getting kisses from someone that is not you, I love you.
For those who want what they probably need, and whose bodies are starving, not for food, for me, for you, for all the people who never knew or understood what you would do for them:
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

it has been so long. so much has changed. i'm an 'adult' now. life's crazy.

I'm tired. I'm stressed, I'm lonely. I'm sorry. I feel like shit.

I just wished I had somebody. I just wanna go home...