This is so hard

When you're mourning you expect the whole word, or at least your close friends to be sad with you, but it doesn't work that way. During the day I put on this hard shell, it's almost like I'm invincible, let no emotions show and you'll be good. Yet, in the night buried within the walls of my room, I cry. I cry for my grandfather who had to go so soon, without me even seeing him for about 10 years, let alone even saying goodbye. I cry for all this sadness tha has overcome me these Past few days. I honestly don't know how I'm able to go to class, how I can have all this composure, which is just for pretend--because I am as fragile as glass. All I have to say is,
To my grandpa,
I'm so sorry I wasn't there to say goodbye, I'm sorry you had to go like this. I'm sorry we never really talked, and I'm sorry I took your time in this world for granted, you're at a better place now, and that's all that matters. May you rest in peace, without any suffering, without anything negative. I love you, and I'll always remember you. 09/07/2011
Love, your granddaughter