I'm so upset. Like I always am, nothing new. When will I ever be happy? I just wanna get off my chest the fact that I see this person ALL THE EFFIN time. Like whenever I look up, he's there. No, it's not someone Chris should worry about cuz I couldn't care less about him. But, seriously, he's in my health class, and it's super awkward cuz we were close friends once but now it's like I fucking hate you dude, get away from me. As soon as he gets on the bus, he looks at me WTFFFF and then when we're walking home it's like he goes some weird way and we meet at a corner then I start to walk faster to fucking avoid him. Ahhh it's driving me damn wild..MY GOD!
Another thing on my mind is this other person: who cares if u decided ur not gonna talk to ur ex now? I sure don't! You've said it plenty of times and right now, I'm really quite tired and quite over it. I don't care, get away from me.
Today I found out that I actually have to take my physics final cuz I got a 77 in the class, as of now. Me, the only one, out of all the people leaving early iiiiiiiiii have to effin take it. Why do these things ALWAYS seem to happen to me? It's like nobody is on my side and I'm always left alone, I always suck, Im always left behind. Why, God? I'm not a mean person, I don't do any totally bad things. Yes, I badly lied once in my life but I told the truth, and I feel like I redeemed myself. I was actually considering ending it without telling him at all just out of the blue stopping conversation with him. But I didn't, I told the truth. So, why God? :'( why? Tomorrow I finish my geometry final, thursday and Friday I have the physics and English finals. And Monday I just have history. I was exempted from taking shop and anatomy and physiology finals, because those two are teachers that are considerate and care about their students. Hardly like all my other teachers, especially geometry cuz she doesn't give a FLYING **** about what happens to us, she just wants 4 years to pass so she can retire.
I need to get my manicure and pedicure, dry clean my uniform for next week, write that paper for that SAT program I talked about in my last post cuz none of the jobs called, or was I supposed to call them? Maybe I'll call them sometime, if i remember. I must return the money to get my pictures and I need to get money for the Orlando trip as well. Buy a bathing suit, which will most likely happen this weekend, if my cousin doesn't forget to give me the money he promised.
I'm not even looking forward to this summer. I mean, all I have is work work wrk work. So what the fuck do I have to be happy for. And I still need to buy those damn expensive ass fucking useless and worthless piece of crap as books. Dammit.
Another thig worrying me is Chris's health. I don't know, I'll think I'm probably gonn have a heart attack soon with alm the things I have to worry about. But, really chest pain is dangerous. It doesn't matter if he's young, you know? He can still get a heart attack or whatever it is that's wrong with him. I have to wait until I don't know who decides that effin insurance is available and who knows when that'll happen. But it's his fault for missing the appointment he had the other time. If he wouldve went maybe he would have insurance by now and we would know what's wrong with him.
I don't know what to do with myself.