Monday, August 16, 2010


It's hilarious how peaceful I am after finding out a whole bunch of shit out. Lol, it's funny. Then again I don't even know if it's the truth because you never know with this fucking guy/girl whatever. And this load of bull would have been still going on if it wasn't for me. I'm seriously the key to my happiness. I now realize that whichever fucking day it was that I met you was the worst day of my life and I was right for saying I regret meeting you, whoever you are. I now realize that February 16th was the day I let you come and take away any semblance of happiness I had left. But now lol now I'm seriously happy and seriously okay with everything that's going on in my life. I'm so ecstatic that this is finally happening! Lol and the funny part is all I had to do was get rid of this mother-effer secretly ruining my life. I wish I wouldve done this sooner. I hate you :) no matter of fact I THANK you for making me realize this! Think of how miserable I would be right now. Haha, thinking that you're happy and this and that. Lol all bullshit! And stop with all this pity shit blah blah blah. The last thing I feel for you is pity and the first thing I feel towards you is hatred. Fuck you, whoever you are. And I hope God punishes you for what you did. You dont need anger management, what you need to get is a life really. And maybe go to psychologist so he/she could diagnose your compulsive lying. Oh and go to school too, you need some help with uh grammar. Pretty much help with the whole brain area darling. Don't fuckin contact me, get the fuck out of my life. This is my last blog I won't give you the benefit of reading about my life and shit. I'm off to tumblr! And if Kate or anyone for that matter ends up with! Their life is gonna be pure hell! I mean you're gonna have to be walking around with a lie detector all the time hanging from your mouth to catch you on a lie. Lol isn't that funny!! I was gonna say bye but you're not even worth that much.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

won't give you the benefit

i knew this all along, just too naive.
and if you are who you say you are, prove it.
that's all i ask: prove it.
oh! I guess you can't cuz that's you :-O
have fun in NY :)
so glad im getting outta here soon!

Friday, August 13, 2010


make sure kids are sleeping before you have sex!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Military Reunion

this made me cry :'(

Monday, August 9, 2010


I feel like I'm a prisoner in my own home. I'm woken up way early to babysit. Take the kids a shower, get them dressed. After my grandma finishes cooking, I feed them and if I feel like eating what she cooked, then I eat. Then after that I usually have to wash the dishes, clean the stove, and mop the house before my mom gets home bc if not she'll completely freak out and start screaming at me, which I try to avoid. When she gets here, she doesn't say hi to me, just to my brother and sister. Doesn't say a word to me. Then, after a while, she yells at me because of something I did wrong or because I didn't clean my room or something. OH YEAH, like I have a whole bunch of time taking care of YOUR kids to do my own shit. After that she doesn't leave me alone. Do this, do that, don't forget to do this even before I even finished doing the first thing you told me to do. I don't go out. FOR NO REASON. Today, my friends invited me for some pizza, called her to ask her, she said, "Oh, I have to do this and that after I get off from work and there's no one to take care of the kids." I just asked her why does she do these things to me and she said," I don't know." SO apparently, she's doing this crap on purpose because she knows what shes doing. So I'm stuck in the house ALL DAY LONG, catering to her needs. She doesn't wash her plates purposely just so when I'm done eating I have to wash mine and hers because if I leave hers there she throws a fit. Another thing if I eat, she constantly tells me,"you're gonna get fat," "you look like a cow," "you're not gonna be able to walk through doors." This and that. Leave me alone! If I want your opinions, I would ask you! I go through this every single day! On Sunday, she doesn't work. But NO. She spends the whole morning/some of the afternoon out doing whatever it is. Nails, hair, whatever..never spends the only day she has off home..always has something to do. It's not even like I'm a bad kid. If it's grades she cares about well then I get good grades what else do you want? What can I do to satisfy you? How better can I be? I really can't wait till I go to college and have some time to myself and meet new people and get away from this town from everyone. This school year better go by quickly.

-stuck inside this house
-occasional meals
-clean everyday
-no time for myself
-i do everything wrong
-total disappointnment

Friday, August 6, 2010

i'm forced to read books online ugh!

Align Rightsomebody left me this on tumblr:

it made my day :)

--Oh! And I finished ONE book! 48734067306q3487983478923 more to go!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

handsomeness? nononno hawtness!

I think about life. 
And oh how it changes so fast.
And oh how it's so hard to last here waiting for something to give.

I think about time. 
A luxury so hard to find.
And I just can't figure out why I wasted it all here without you.

But I'll be fine, oh don't you worry. 
Cuz I'll be fine, see I'm in a hurry to be gone away a while. 
Tell me all the things that I. . .
I'll be missing here in this whole life man cuz I just don't know.

I think about you. 
And all of the times that we shared. 
And oh what a wonderful pair.
We've made it so far here we go again.

I think about love.
And oh what a beautiful song.
And oh how it needs to be sung here.
Sing it so loud all the world can hear.

I think I'll be gone away a while. 
Tell me all the things that I. . 
I'll be missing here in this whole life man cuz I just don't know. . I just don't know.    

been infected/left me neglected

just trying to hurry and blog pretty quickly cuz this guy is waiting on me & he's acting super weird as well. I just wanted to blog about something that happened to me today that i think i would NEVER forget.
So my school's newsletter came in the mail today, it was pretty much all about the graduating class and all. And the valedictorian is off to some college, studying some major, hoping to be come a cardiac surgeon. And my mom reads it. A while after, when we're in my room, she says something about how she wants me to help her with money once I'm a professional and all. Then she brings up that girl who wants to be a cardiac surgeon and she says," That should've been my daughter." Then she goes on to say, "How proud I would be if I can say my daughter is a CARDIAC SURGEON." I just looked at her and told her I would never forget she said that. Then she tried to butter me up and say," Oh you can be whatever you want blah blah BLAH." Really? SORRY FOR BEING A DISAPPOINTMENT TO YOU.