Thursday, March 31, 2011

oh goshh

Getting that 'you're a fucking dumbass feeling' again. Greatness.

Anyway *rolls eyes and shakes head* I hate when people are mad/sad all the time for no good reason. I mean, life's too short to be pouty and just SAD all the time. Liven Up! Act Alive! I understand we all have our down days here and there, but that does not mean you have to take it out on others! It doesn't mean you have to automatically hate others just because! It doesn't mean you sit something out in fear. No! I'm not a philosopher, of course, nor do I create theories. But there are two people that I know who are like this. Always needy, always pouty, never enjoying life, always SAD! I used to be like this, I used to hate school, I used to hate majority of people in the school. But, now, I'm just like wooooooooooo! I'm crazy, I know. But, I just wish these two people would stop. I love them very much, and live's too short to be like that. A person isn't gonna make you happy if you aren't happy yourself, and I learned that the hard way.

I'm writing because I have an 800-word paper due tomorrow. For a scholarship. I THOUGHT SCHOLARSHIPS WERE BY CHOICE. But nooooo, not in English class -_____- I barely have a paragraph and it's 12 am. Oh, well, I doubt I'm finishing, gonna leave it at 700 something pages or something along those lines.

This week wasn't very good. Actually, it was the worst week in a while. But, I'm still keeping a smile on my face, and I would MEAN that smile!

I am a procrastinator, and NOT proud :D

UPDATE: I'm NOT doing that stupid, obnoxiously long essay, I'm skipping/cutting first period tomorrow. Where am I gonna go lol?

Sunday, March 27, 2011

two things made my night tonight

I just got done talking to my aunt from DR, the best aunt ever, let me add. I haven't seen her in yeeeears, and she was just giving me advice on normal everyday stuff. The thing that got me was that she told me it saddens her that she couldn't be here for all those years of me growing up into a woman, pretty much. I was at a loss of words. It just amplifies how selfish I've been for these years to never think about theses things. After I thought about it, I'm like damn I miss her, I never use to think about these things but now it is sad that she wasn't physically here to go through these things with me :'( But, soon after, she sent me a voice clip of my little cousin (her daughter) saying that she loves me, and everybody here, my sis, my bro, my mom, my grandma. THAT made my night, she's the cutest little thing, she has the bigggest cheeks ever, TOO CUTE. It sucks so bad that I've never met her, though :/ But, if God decided these things then it must be for a reason, right?

Other thing that made my night:
So, I didn't talk to him for the entttttiiiiiirrre weekend. Friday, I was gonna go to his house, but he had to leave to a wedding, which took place on Saturday. (Random: I fucking burned my ear with the flat iron and it fuuuckingg hurts bitches) So, I missed him, yeah yeah -_- And today, randomly, he texts me because he just got home and tells me to call him. But, I was busy doing my mother's hair and after that I was gonna go driving with my dad. So, he was pretty upset and so was I. He also asks me if I can come over, but I said I doubted it, I had no hope. But then, he texts me out of nowhere (when I got home) and says if he can pass by because since I can't go over then he will. So he just came over outside and we stayed in his car for a while like 15 mins or so, and we just talked. It's amazing how we just met and it's not awkward at allllllll. How great is that? We talked about his wedding, about my night yesterday, about everything. I somewhat want to ask him to be my prom date but I'm the biggest punk in the history of punks SO I didn't. But, I don't know. Who knows? Blahh.

Anyways, that was what my night consisted of, besides being burned by my flat iron, and my mom being so demanding about prom dresses. BUT, she's actually pretty right because she knows what'll look good and what won't so I'm gonna listen to her now.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow :)
Thank you God.

I think my mom needs to understand that it's not HER prom dress we're shopping for.

I was shopping earlier with her, then went out, and just got home. Good thing she's sleeping because she probably won't let me go out next week if she knew what time I got here :x

Thursday, March 24, 2011

i give up

feeling like such a fucking douche right now.

true story

Everytime I watch the Jersey Shore and I see Ron & Sam, for some reason, I'm like,
"been there, done that."

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

oh gosssh

So I really liked this guy. And I wasn't a punk about it. We met at my friend's bday dinner like 2 weeks ago and now we're like best friends, I swear his calls make my night lol. Just best friends though, it's better that way. Oh, my dear blog, today was a good day. I gotta go study though, EMT Final -____-
Most likely I'm not gonna study though lol.
Hoping for a better day tomorrow :)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

So um..

I'm like this right now :D :D :D
such a little freakin whore!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

before I go study,

I don't know if I wanna blog about this, but this is my blog, right?

Because I had to find my camera's memory card in my pigsty called a room, I decided might as well clean it. So, I did. I found a few things:
This came with the Vera Wang flowers, along with the perfume. I found this tucked in the depths of my drawer. My reaction, "Are you serious?!"

There was another thing I found, a note I wrote to myself last school year, here goes:

[I was supposed to open it on 2015]

Hey You!
November 19, 2009
I really don't know what to write about...I hope you're successful and happy :) I'm in my junior year.UGH! So stressful! Getting ready for college so I took all these CHALLENGING classes->every honors class possible except Anatomy & Phys. The family's OK. Mom's good, sis, bro, grams, cuz...I don't know much about the people in DR though...I won't even mention my dad. -___- Uhh...what else? Well, I have a boyfriend, his name is Chris :) he's very dear to me...we made 9 months the 16th and we've been through soooo much. I Love him though. I love him very much. Matter of fact, he just texted me & I heard the ringtone in class. OOPS :) I have such horrible writing, huh? I'm not doing it purposely but hey what can you do? I'm so tired OMG, I've begun exercising & eating right (kinda) today's my 5th or 6th day. And my healthiness rubbed off on Chris (LOL)..he eats healthy as well, I'm proud of him. My intestines are empty -_-, I'm really hungry. But anyways, I hope you're successful & happy, what are you doing? I hope you're in like medical school, nursing school, or practicing interior design. But really I don't care what you're doing as long as you're successful & happy. How's 2015??? Are cars flying around? O! When you read this call your teacher! She made me do's cool though :) I have a headache. So chris' grandma is sick, she's complaining about stomach pains...I hope she gets better and healthier cuz I can't stand to see my babe like this & so sad, I really want her healthy too cuz it affects me...What else to say dude? I think for xmas we're driving down to GA. :) SOO exiciting (however its spelled) I can go on for years...........
I hope you're with chris too :)
I hope this made your day!
Sincerely, with love :)
N.V.(Bradford) lol
Ugh, I don't want to stop writing

Wooooow is all I can say, how times have changed. I don't know if I should throw this out, or keep it.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

or just somebody

For once I would like to write what ever I feel like on here and not care, but that's SO not the case. I seriously need to go to sleep, I absolutely hate nights. It's almost like my thoughts just race and I want to get away from it all. I think about everything. The most completely random thing just pops into my head and I wont leave. I must sound really crazy right now, but when I'm in bed I think about my whole entire day, memories, this, that. I think about all of my actions, what I did wrong, right, what I could've done differently, solutions to problems. And nobody's awake for this, maybe that's why I can't sleep, until real late. Maybe it's because I worry a lot? Yeah, maybe that's it.
It's kind of like this:
lol I was going to write an example but after I reread it I realized how crazy I sound, so no. Not gonna happen.

Ugh, I need help.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

we'll have a little bit of fun

There's so much to blog about, but so little fingers, or patience.
What was I gonna blog about?
OMG memory loss
No, early Alzheimer's.
That wasn't even funny ^
I have such horrible humor.
Can I just say that Sunday was the best day ever?!
And that I need to get off Tumblr because it just isn't helping me cope lol?
This week has been great so far!
But, of course, some nights aren't so great, I must admit.
I don't know.
I'll be back, I forgot what I was gonna say.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

am I wrong?

You know it's really sad how many times you've said sorry to me. I mean, I remember those times when there was no reason to say sorry. But damn this time you completely crossed the line. I don't know what the fuck was going through your head. Considering you're the only person I trustED, I was fucking astonished to even think that you'll back stab me, I had no idea it was possible. I was so angry I wrote something really bad that I shouldn't have..a lot of curse words in it. But, I forgive you, when don't I? But I don't think I could talk to you, I don't think I deserve these kinds of things happening to me.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

take it, take it all, take all that i have.

i've lost count of how many times i've played this song. I just love it so much. He's one of the reasons I love facial hair so much.

Friday, March 11, 2011

eek! eek!

um, yes. So I should be doing my paper right now, but omg I'm hungry, tired, sleepy, hot. Just everything. And, of course, procrastinating. Okay, I know it's bad, but in my case..procrastinating works. When I DONT procrastinate, my work SUCKS, I'm not even exaggerating. But, when I do procrastinate my work is golden. It's amazing how that works out, but it looks like I'm gonna be procrastinating on college as well. Did I mention I paid my Enrollment Deposit, and Housing Deposit as well as the Housing application. I can actually get a room sometime in April, the only thing I'm really bummed about is that the date I get to pick my room is one of the last days and i do not want there to be anymore rooms left on the building that I want to dorm in. Grr
I'm so hoping for no school tomorrow as the river is pretty much at flooding level, if not flooding already. But, noooooooooooo I bet they'll call at like 5 am saying I don't have school after I finished my essay when I could've been sleeping. How I HATE when they do that.
Today was good, something really embarrassing happened that I don't want to tell anybody because it's just that embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of gross. Cuz I'm a gross person, what can I say. But, my day got better after I got home, lol. OMG

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

dear Nicolle,

I wish you'd stop procrastinating. Like, really. You have a 10 page paper due Friday and you still have not started. What do you do with your life? Oh, yeah, sleep and go on tumblr. Interesting life there. But, Nick, seriously, stop that, do your work. Oh, and also I wish you'd stop thinking about the past, all this hatred accumulating in you isn't very healthy. Start living in the present & be excited for your future, girly.

That is all.

Sunday, March 6, 2011


It's the story of my life, though. It's really funny how it turned out, don't you think? I know you always end up missing me more, so I'm just gonna laaay. Sounds relevant, eh? Anyway, that wasn't what I wanted to write about.


I must admit that when I get a couple drinks in me, I start not to give a fuck. So, at the party my ex best friend who I haven't talked to in forever was there. Omg, what a draaaggg. At the end of the night I called her an ugly, hideous bitch. It's quite ironic because when I'm sober, I'm a worry wart, but when I'm partying IDGAF. Actually, what I am worried about is what I'm gonna do when I really start to party, like college and shit. I'm gonna be fucking dangerous. Not an alcoholic, let's get that straight. Even though I don't have much self-control, lol. Fun wise? This party was funner than that last one a while ago, I was much more comfy with the people there. But drunk wise, at the last party I was taking shots and shit, drinking vodka & all sorts. But at this party I drank 2 beers (OMG YES beer :O )and a bit of ciroc and a bit of hennessy. That is all, not so bad. My night was fun! I was sooo tired after, got home like around 2:30ish. Had fun, though.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

i do everything wrong all the freakin time
nobody calls me out on something i did good
just bad, after bad, after bad


I feel like fucking strangling you sometimes.