on second thought..

I'm just letting out something that should've been let out a long time ago, bear with me. I'm going to sound really kiddish...

I really can't wait to meet new people. I mean, I'm so so so glad I've gotten close to my close friends that I'm with now, but I still feel this anger just waiting to erupt whenever I see ->those people (you should know who I'm talking about). & he goes on to say, "I gave you the time to cool off that you needed." WTF? You're the one talking about me and still deny it to this day. Which does not convince me at all because my mind is never going to change. I remember one day he said it himself that THEY were talking about me..they said, and I quote that I act "white" lol, and something about my relationship which I don't remember, because again it has no importance. Then, he "supposedly" said something to defend me, but NOW since you're like them and talking about me as well, you really think I'm going to believe the fact that you "defended me"? But what PISSES me off is how can someone's "best friend" stay friends with people who talk about their best friend? It seems illogical to me. But, it's okay, because of this whole deal, I came close to people and I don't miss one of them, except him, of course, because he was my best friend. I don't go out with them on weekends because they live pretty far, but that's the only downside. And I now for a fact, that he has no other friends other than that little group of three other people. And the only reason they tolerate his ass is because of his car, that's all..he's their personal chauffeur. But whatever, I forgave them all, and I'm not holding a grudge or anything, I just decided not to be friends with them. God can do whatever he wants with them...

stay the hell away from me

I'm all about the blues now.
I don't know what's wrong
Only sad songs are fulfilling to me.
THIS IS MY HIGH
i guess it's bittersweet poetry..

determined to finish this crap by 11:30 :/

my hannnds :(

How can I sleep tonight, eh?
Things to do:
this is for chris lol

*i have to go to teachers so they can write their signature to verify my extra-curriculars
(To chris: I need to do this THIS week, I need two more signatures, remind me during the school day pleeeeeeeeeease)
*do Rutgers essay & give it to my teacher
(tomorrow I can't do it because I have to do a project :/ so maybe after tomorrow remind me)
*tell my mother to sign the transcript release form
(hmm..signing is easy so remind me soooooooon)
*finish PENN STATE APPLICATION
(omg yes, after friday remind meeee)
*UA application isn't so pressing in time because I don't really have to write an essay)
*remind me to tell my dad/mom of the application fees
(REMIND ME TOMORROW)
*e-mail teachers for recommendations
(after friday)
This is it S O F A R. I probably forgot some stuff, but I'm still working on it.

Daughtry - What About Now

so this is the song Chris is gonna sing to me someday, so he has plenty of time to learn it. Personally, I do
not like this video because to me the song has nothing to do with like world-wide issues and stuff. To me, it's about love in relationships. Oh! and the leader of the band is called Chris :)
I love this band :D

this is the cutest thing EVER

fo shiz

Is it weird that I see this kid in my teacher?? I mean, every time I look at my teacher it's sooooo awkward because I'm picturing this kid and then when my teacher looks at me back, I feel like he's reading my mind and then it's even more awkward. Or maybe I just look at my teacher too much and get too many ideas that I shouldn't be having...maybe it's because this teacher is like 28ish? 27? and maybe THAT'S why I picture this kid. It's sooo weird, I was just thinking about it and I thought I'd write it down. Oh, by the way, there was this paper due for him and I swear I did wonderful on it, and he gave me a 90 -_- that REALLY irked me. Oh, I now know the proper way to say erk is irk actually...like he erked me is actually irked :) spell check is the bomb diggity fizzzzz

thank God for capsules

These past few days I haven't been doing anything that has to do with college. The thing is that I don't have time to sit down and fill out applications, or maybe that's an excuse too. I think a while back I wrote down my college list here but eh I can't find it. I said I was going to apply to NYU but that's a no. One, I don't like the city (people gasp when I say this but it's true I don't really enjoy the city). Two, IFFF I get accepted, and there's a high possibility I won't be, I probably won't be going to the college anyway...how in the world would I...I don't even know. So THIS is my up-to-date college list:
1. UA (offff course)
2. Penn State
3. Rutgers
and that's all for now. The application deadline for UA is February 1st...PLENTY time! And I have to write no essay, which is fabulous and gives me no excuse to procrastinate...wait what am I waiting for to send it? I THINK I'm pretty sure it's my SATs. Oh, I registered for the November SAT :/ I really do have to take it to get a bit better, ya know? The app deadline for Penn State is November 30 which is around the corner! And I also have to give this thing from that college to my counselor so she could fill it out. OH! Did I mention she sprained her ankle and is out till Wednesday?!!?! Perfect timing! I'm not heartless or anything, I hope she gets better, but I'm just sayingg. Rutgers application deadline is...I don't even know! Let me check...oh it's November 1st for early action and December 1st for Regular. So the first thing I have to do is get the thing filled out for Penn State when my counselor gets back. Oh! And I have to get my extra-curricular sheet filled out as well, which I hate doing. Reason being because I hate bothering teachers and stuff. OHHHHHHHH! Which reminds me I have to get my recommendations too! Oh ma gawd !!! I have to ask away! See every time I think of something, something new comes into my list of stressors, it's not cool at all. But yes, I don't know what other colleges to apply to because REALLY if I don't get accepted to UA i'll be devastated and I don't know what I'll do. I'm just going to think positive! Cloud of positivity surrounding my head! Yes!

unloaded

I must write about this because I need to get this off my chest and because I don't want to forget later, as well.

Okay, so, I have to stop screwing around and putting off stuff until last minute. I'm tired, I'm sick, and I just have to do what I have to do correctly and on time. Today, since I barely had any work, I started to fill out my applications (UA & PS, so far). I still have to apply for the November SAT and the deadline is October 6, meaning I have two days before the tardy fee is added..i think they add like $20 more or so. But, yes, I need to REGISTER ASAP. Really, I don't even know if I want to take it. One, my last SAT scores aren't so bad and the colleges I'm applying to don't really need high scores. Two, I haven't been studying, which I definitely need to do. And three, I'm not sure my scores going to increase by so much, and overall I just hate this test.
I'm planning on having all my applications done by the end of October, I know it's going to be hard with school work and other things, but I HAVE to do this. I need to get organized.
I also need to have a sit down with my dad, and explain all this to him because my mom can't do everything all by herself and I also have to apply for FAFSA pins for both mom and dad. The thing is that I'm pretty sure he's going to say he has bills and other shit to do (just like he did with the braces), but in reality this should be his number one priority. It sickens me that he doesn't even care to ask me how I'm doing in school, how my grades are, what colleges I'm applying to. And then when he asks me school related questions out of the blue, its super awkward because he's rarely done it before. But yeah, he's going to pretend like he understand this whole college process thing and he's really not going to get it, then he's just going to totally forget about it, because like I said he has other priorities.
My relationship with Chris is just a whole other complex category I don't even want to begin to get into. Lately, it's just been I don't even know...
I need to get more sleep.
There was more I wanted to say but I forgot....
great.

ugh

i dont know what's wrong with me..everybody is pissing me off. Especially people in school..i just wanna gooooooooooooooooooooooooo awaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

i got 99 problems, and they all b*tches

So I was gonna blog but I decided to look for some music since my iPod is empty.
BTW
i love kid cudi :D