Monday, April 25, 2011

just a band-aid, it'll come around heehaw

(this is not what I wanted to write about, but I just saw a freaking insidious picture, I just happened to run into one online. Scariest fucking shit ever, not cool. I had to turn on the damn light. EFFFFFFF.)

Is it weird that I feel like such a whore? Very vulgar word, but seriously. Actually, it's quite funny, but everything is funny to me so that doesn't mean anything. And truthfully, I don't even know if I want to write about this. I'll just leave it here as a way of reminding me of what I have to write about.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

What. a. night.

You find out a lot of things when you drunk text. I wasn't the one who was drunk though.

Friday, April 22, 2011


I love this picture, it's so spring-y. It was my attempt at making some lemon tea, but apparently I kind of exaggerated with the lemons, I put too much. It came out bitter, even with the cinnamon sticks in there, even with the pound of sugar I poured. It just wasn't working, so I didn't get to enjoy my tea :( Before bed, I think I might make some cup noodles because I'm starving.
I could go for some powdered sugar covered waffles right about now, OMG.

..........that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

my horoscope is so accurate it scares me

My horoscope for Wednesday, April 20 2011

You may be trapped in the past when it comes to reliving one particularly upsetting event or issue. You would probably like to be free of it, yet it taunts you with repetitive thoughts and burdensome "what ifs." You keep thinking that if only you did such-and-such, or if only you did whatever you did in a different way, everything would have turned out much better. Obviously, Virgo, that kind of thinking is not productive. It doesn't solve anything, and it only frustrates you. Instead of reliving a moment from the past, find a way to undo or redo it in the present.

That is freaky ^

Monday, April 18, 2011

random stuff...oh gosh

Why do I blog/write so much?
Because it's cheaper than therapy. But, in all seriousness I just need someone to talk to. Someone who understands me. And even though I get no feedback from a blog, because blogs can't talk of course, I can just let it out. Shove whatever I'm feeling someplace else in hopes that it won't come creeping up in my head again.

Why am I such a mess? Why do I always have to ruin everything? Everything destructs when I'm around it and I'm not exaggerating.

Part of me thinks its better to just suppress my feelings because at the end of the day it doesn't matter what I think or feel. I end up getting hurt anyway. Well, so far.

I'm a complex person. And I'm weird too. Really weird. I think some people can actually testify to the fact that I'm weird. But.......truthfully, I'd rather be weird than anything else. I like it.

A lot of things bother me. I just don't say anything. But, sometimes people say DUMB things and its too hard to pass off.

Besides those, I consider myself to be fun. I mean, if people keep inviting me places, I figure that I must be fun.

I also consider myself funny. Not obviously funny though, my humor is dark. I make myself laugh all the time. I kinda want somebody that'll make me laugh more than I make them laugh. I love to laugh.

Accents make me happy. English, Australian, and Irish accents. If I had to put them in order I think it'll be Irish (because of P.S. I Love You), then Australian and English are tied.

Today was an OKAY day. But, I hate okay days. I want fanfreakingtastic day. I don't remember the last time I've had those kind of days, or even if I ever had one.

Don't get me wrong I'm not ungrateful. ^

I have conversations with God. Not like prayers. Conversations. God tries to play these kind of sneaky jokes on me. For example, this happened too, I specifically try to avoid this person, and in the hallways I'm zoned out thinking about random stufff, and then what I actually notice people walking in front of me, I notice it's the person I've been trying to avoid. When that happened I seriously laughed and said," You think you're funny?" I love God.

I seriously can't wait to meet new people.

I wish I actually took getting a job seriously because now I have to pay for a lot of shit, and I don't want my mom to pay it all herself.

In addition to that, I don't give my mom enough credit and recognition. I love her. She deserves to be happy, but here I know she's not happy. Not with all the rumors of my father's girls going around. That's why I'm glad we're moving this summer. I really hope this move is for the better. I'd give anything for her happiness. Ok I should stop because I'm getting a big lump the size of my fist in my throat.

I really like clothes. I'm not going to say love because the love of clothing is materialistic, and I don't consider myself to be that kind of person. BUT I look my best whenever I'm feeling down. Clothes are the only reason why I'm scared of getting a credit card. It makes me worry. So that's why I'm going to be a certified gold digger when I grow up.

I was kidding about that last part. ^

I have given up on people who don't give me the time of day. My time isn't worthless.

I don't like people who aren't interesting.

I can seriously write down the things that turn me on and you'll be weirded out. Rugged guys with facial hair are a plus.

I should end this. I don't know what inspired me to write these random things.

MY lotion popped on my bag on Friday and I still haven't cleaned it out. That's really disgusting, but I'm on spring break'll be cleaned when I want to.

I'm a procrastinator ^

I'm watching the movie 'RED' and it's fucking awesome.

I kind of don't want to stop this, but I must. Goodbye!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

phone cordz

Financial Aid is being a total _______. Fill in whatever word you think is necessary there. There was something I wanted to blog about, wasn't there? Hm. Well, since I haven't posted a song/youtube video in a while, today is that day.

To the untrained mind this might mean something, something I'm hinting at. But, it's not. Relax, I just like the song. Along with her whole entire album.


Saturday, April 16, 2011

there's something about saturday night & Cee-Lo Green

I think I've seen every feel-good, cheesy, love story...
( I'm watching SNL and this episode is hilarioussss OMG :D )
Ok I think I've seen all romantic comedies known to man so I'm stuck watching these random movies, BUT there have been some movies I've seen lately that were actually good: Tron Legacy was goooooood! I enjoyed it a lot! I want one of those light-up suit too! And The Mechanic was good too. I love all Jason Statham movies because they're all addicting.
I need more romantic comedies though :(
I miss you

^ I deserve an applause for that.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


He came over -____-
Out of NOWHERE, out of the blue. We talked in his car and stuff, but really I'm glad we're friends. I thought it was going to be somewhat awkward since what happened the other day, but it wasn't. The most ironic, stupid part: he complained about his date. Inside I'm like, "HA! That's what you get!" But, truthfully it doesn't have such importance anymore, I'm just glad we're good friends. It's better than nothing.
I'm happy being single! Of course, there are moments where I'm just like "I want somebody," but that happens rarely.

SO my mother has this new guy friend. She talks to him all the time and he makes her smile, so far so good. If he's the only way she'll get over my dad then I'm okay with it. She told me to call him "stepdad." She's crazy o.O

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

banana dilemma

Really quick before I go work out, BANANAS DO calm me down! Bananas have tryptophan, which is an amino acid, actually an essential amino acid because the body can't really synthesize it. Tryptophan produces a chemical reaction to make another compound, called serotonin. And serotonin "is a well-known contributor to feelings of well-being; therefore it is also known as a "happiness hormone" despite not being a hormone."

So they do make me calm down I just researched that ^
lol i had to

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


I don't feel like ranting, cursing, getting more pissed off, writing a whole bunch tonight. I made a tough decision tonight and that's that. I'm just super upset and really I don't know what to do. Hopefully, painting my nails, moving my stuff into another bag, and eating a banana will help me calm down.

In all honesty

If i never texted you that night I probably wouldn't miss you, but now I do -_-

Sunday, April 10, 2011

This is all happening too soon..

I finally got the shoes! I also found a picture that looks more like my dress, here it is:
That's Keri Hilson
Ahhhhhh! It's so so so glamorous and exactly like the one I have, it even has those jewels in the middle! I'm getting excited as I type, but I can't help it . It's such a great contrast to my skin color, the only thing that's significantly different is that my dress is more ivory and this dress is more of a nude color.
These are the shoes I was going to buy:
So sexy! But they're really tall and so I feared that my dress wouldn't hit the ground, so I didn't buy that beauty.
I got these instead. Still hot, still platforms, but not so tall. They look super comfy too, so as of now I love them!

All I'm missing is my clutch, not a date :) Most likely I'll end up going with a group of friends, I can't wait!

Hey Red Sox,

I liked the way you played tonight.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

my obsession

Friday I went shopping! I bought so maaany things for just $31! I was super super excited then, and I'm super super excited to wear these things now. So, because I don't have a camera (LOL) I can't take pictures of it, but I'll look for some pictures that look similar to what I got. I found some of my friends there and I showed them what I got and they were kind of set back and did a double take, but it's funny and incongruent because when they see me in school they compliment my clothing. Maybe it's because I wasn't in it the reason why they didn't like it, but I love what I wear, so it doesn't matter.

The shirt that I got is somewhat like this except it's not gray. Actually, the print has to be one of the things I LOVE about this shirt. It's black and white and has this geometric/flowery print, so hot!
I got this little treasure, well something like it! I love love love it because it's great when you don't want to wear a big bag, this little compact purse comes in handy!
I've been dying for one of these belts, finally have one!
And I got three blazers I ADORE. They're all vintage, and different shades but I couldn't find any online that looked like them, but everybody knows what blazers look like so I gave up. Since they're all vintage, they came with shoulder pads, I'm not quite sure if I should remove the shoulder pads or not because it all depends on how they would look when I pair them with an outfit, but they don't look so bad with the shoulder pads. I was extremely extremely happy I found such things and I can't wait to wear them. I have to do some laundry first though because all my clothes are dirty. So, that is it for my clothes haul, I was just so excited I needed to share!
Wish List:
1. Jessica Simpson Shoes
-She has the greatest collection of shoes! Not pricey at all!

I tried those super tall sexy heels on at Macy's and I completely fellll in love! Even though they're so tall, they're so comfy, I just love them. I love alll her shoes!
2. Harem Pants
I need a pair!
3. Anything with Spring colors.
4. Classy Rainboots
5. Thin belts
6. Silk Jumpsuit or a Romper
7. Black and White striped blazer
8. Oxfords
I need them.

I'm not photogenic

I don't understand how a camera could cost more than a $1,000 but the Nikon Digital SLR cameras go waaaay beyond that. My brother, or sister broke the only digital camera we had, it's just a simple digital camera, not a Nikon or a professional one, but now I really really want a Nikon. I think I've talked about this before, but I just needed to emphasize my love for these cameras. The cheapest one is $499 and, if I had the money, I would so invest on it because I love to take abstract pictures, but my phone takes crappy pictures so I don't post them.

Before this fall, I would HOPEFULLY own one.
Or any digital camera, I guess.

Actually, any Nikon camera would do.


I had plans to go out today, but something happened (I'm not quite sure) and so I ended up staying home. All is good because I took a good nap, and I went to see Insidious yesterday, so overall it's been a pretty good weekend. When I went to see Insidious I made a personal note to myself to watch everything, "Do not cover your eyes, just enjoy it." The thing about me is that when I watch scary movies I miss the scary parts (on purpose) because I'm just that much of a punk. It's not that hard, when that eery, creepy music starts playing, cover your eyes. When a person is looking at themself in the mirror and they're about to close it, cover your eyes. When it's offly quiet and you expect something to happen, cover your eyes. When it's night and they show the house all dark, cover your eyes. When something moves all of a sudden, cover your eyes. So, when I watch scary movies, I remove the scariness of it, so overall it would be a pretty happy movie for me, and that's how I can sleep that night after watching it. UNFORTUNATELY, I decided to not cover my eyes ( but I did, on some parts). For being PG-13, it's a really good movie! I enjoyed it very very very much, though towards the end it starts to get a little fake and I'm just like really? I also noticed something, when I get scared I don't yell or scream I just put my head on the other person's shoulder and I cover my eyes. I cannot count how many times I did that last night. But, I would pay to watch that movie again.

So, since I have nothing to do. I'm gonna blog!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

finally beginning to enjoy this year

Okay seriously WHAT THE FUCK IS UP with these damn Red Sox? They predicted that weeeee were the best team in MLB. What the fuckety fucking fuck? Maybe because its the beginning of the season but OMG! not cute. But, I love you guuuyz.

Monday, April 4, 2011


This is really personal, but I'm seriously considering the skinny girl diet which is sticking to the rule that you cant eat more than 300-400 calories a day & exercise, of course.
I don't know.

build a bridge and get over it

So, now, I'm feeling better thanks to my mother (surprising), and two other people. I don't know who I'm going to prom with, but rejection is life, and life isn't fair, so what can you do? I might go with a group of friends or just by myself, I'm just not sure. If somebody ends up asking me, which I highly doubt (not being pessimistic, but realistic), then depending on who that person is, I'll decide. One, my dress is TOO glamorous to be ruined by a guy who does not look good in a tux. And if you don't look good in a tux it must be that something is really wrong with you. Two, I thought about it, but I don't want to really be tied down by one person. Instead, I wanna have fun, dance with friends, be carefree. I don't think that'll happen with a clingy date. Whyyyyyyy am I so technical? Whooo cares, I'm gonna have fun and that's all that matters.

And, after ignoring it for a lonnnnng while, I seriously don't understand why you miss me. I think it's just your mood swings, and when you just need a person there. But, seriously, I'm not gonna think of reasons why you do because--it's not that I don't care, but I'm just tired of the same things. I don't know, nothing makes sense when I write, nothing makes sense in my mind either. But, yeah, I don't understand. I don't like blogging about you which is why I don't do it very much and, frankly the only thing I care about is your kids because I know they're so important to you. But, like you said to me, I'm here as well.

I literally lasted 42 minutes looking for something to wear and I ultimately ended up deciding on something so casual! Then I spent 18 minutes deciding on whether I should switch bags or not, which I did. It's seriously stressful looking for clothes. I look the best when I feel the worst, so tomorrow I'm definitely looking hot!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

there's just so much I have to say!

You know, it sucks being right all the time. I mean, just once someone should prove me wrong, but whatever. Hope this teaches you a lesson. I didn't go out tonight since I've gone out every Saturday for about a while now. And, I decided to stay in my cozy home the whole night. I didn't go out today except early in the afternoon when I went shopping with my mother, and *drum roll please* I finally got the dress! It wasn't that pricey, just $140 which is minuscule compared to the prices of dresses I was looking at online. I'm a bit tentative about putting a similar dress up here, but whatever. It looks somewhat like this:

On the hanger it looked pretty ugly and stuff, and I was like EH, let me just give this a try so I tried it on along with the other million and millions of ugly dresses my mom wanted me to try on. I didn't tell her of course, but they were all so figure unflattering. To be honest, when I tried that dress on I was like, 'oh no' for some reason, but then when I saw myself in the mirror I was more like 'oh okay' and then lady next to me said I looked beautiful, she said I had an hourglass figure, I started to come around *tries not to blush* and now I just love it! OH there's something important I ave to mention! Its not pink lol, its like this creamy, off-white, bone color, sort of beige, which is perfect because it contrasts my skin beautifully, besides the fact that it hugs my curves perfectly which is why it makes me have that hourglass figure. Oh another important thing! It doesn't have those jewels at the top, instead it has them at the top of the waist, to emphasize it. I LOVE THIS DRESS.

Okay so last night:
I really should have blogged about this last night because I remembered perfectly then, but now somethings are a blur. So I went over to his house at like around 8ish I think. He lives literally a block away which is perfect. When he opened the door I was attack by his fluffy dog called Buddy. OMG scariest thing ever HE JUMPED ON ME AHH! And all he said was 'dog' quiiiiiiiietly when he opened the door, like really could you have said it any louder before you opened the door?! His mom is sooo cute and soo cool. So we went upstairs to the attic where his room is and he gave me the cheesiest tour of his room, it was funny. We just watched movies and cuddled and ate pizza, it was cute :D But, um, I didn't ask him to be my prom date because I'm a punk. Certified punk. OOOOH! Talking about certification, guess who's an EMT?!!?!?!

You can find me, if you ever want again. I'll be around the bend, I'll be around..

Friday, April 1, 2011

i notice i have more guy-friends than girl friends

current mood:
:) yet :/ because I am SO confused! I wish I knew what people were thinking. I'll write about what happened tonight later, tomorrow, or some other time.
I'm going prom dress shopping tomorrow, but I've already got my mind set on this one dress that I absolutely positively love! Choosing a dress is harder than I thought, and my picky-ness does NOT help the situation at all. I can just wonder how hard it's going to be wedding dress shopping. Hmmmmmmm...
Goodnight my darling Blog <3