Monday, April 18, 2011

random stuff...oh gosh

Why do I blog/write so much?
Because it's cheaper than therapy. But, in all seriousness I just need someone to talk to. Someone who understands me. And even though I get no feedback from a blog, because blogs can't talk of course, I can just let it out. Shove whatever I'm feeling someplace else in hopes that it won't come creeping up in my head again.

Why am I such a mess? Why do I always have to ruin everything? Everything destructs when I'm around it and I'm not exaggerating.

Part of me thinks its better to just suppress my feelings because at the end of the day it doesn't matter what I think or feel. I end up getting hurt anyway. Well, so far.

I'm a complex person. And I'm weird too. Really weird. I think some people can actually testify to the fact that I'm weird. But.......truthfully, I'd rather be weird than anything else. I like it.

A lot of things bother me. I just don't say anything. But, sometimes people say DUMB things and its too hard to pass off.

Besides those, I consider myself to be fun. I mean, if people keep inviting me places, I figure that I must be fun.

I also consider myself funny. Not obviously funny though, my humor is dark. I make myself laugh all the time. I kinda want somebody that'll make me laugh more than I make them laugh. I love to laugh.

Accents make me happy. English, Australian, and Irish accents. If I had to put them in order I think it'll be Irish (because of P.S. I Love You), then Australian and English are tied.

Today was an OKAY day. But, I hate okay days. I want fanfreakingtastic day. I don't remember the last time I've had those kind of days, or even if I ever had one.

Don't get me wrong I'm not ungrateful. ^

I have conversations with God. Not like prayers. Conversations. God tries to play these kind of sneaky jokes on me. For example, this happened too, I specifically try to avoid this person, and in the hallways I'm zoned out thinking about random stufff, and then what I actually notice people walking in front of me, I notice it's the person I've been trying to avoid. When that happened I seriously laughed and said," You think you're funny?" I love God.

I seriously can't wait to meet new people.

I wish I actually took getting a job seriously because now I have to pay for a lot of shit, and I don't want my mom to pay it all herself.

In addition to that, I don't give my mom enough credit and recognition. I love her. She deserves to be happy, but here I know she's not happy. Not with all the rumors of my father's girls going around. That's why I'm glad we're moving this summer. I really hope this move is for the better. I'd give anything for her happiness. Ok I should stop because I'm getting a big lump the size of my fist in my throat.

I really like clothes. I'm not going to say love because the love of clothing is materialistic, and I don't consider myself to be that kind of person. BUT I look my best whenever I'm feeling down. Clothes are the only reason why I'm scared of getting a credit card. It makes me worry. So that's why I'm going to be a certified gold digger when I grow up.

I was kidding about that last part. ^

I have given up on people who don't give me the time of day. My time isn't worthless.

I don't like people who aren't interesting.

I can seriously write down the things that turn me on and you'll be weirded out. Rugged guys with facial hair are a plus.

I should end this. I don't know what inspired me to write these random things.

MY lotion popped on my bag on Friday and I still haven't cleaned it out. That's really disgusting, but I'm on spring break'll be cleaned when I want to.

I'm a procrastinator ^

I'm watching the movie 'RED' and it's fucking awesome.

I kind of don't want to stop this, but I must. Goodbye!

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