i can still feel the lump

Throughout this whole, entire day it never hit me. Never hit me that I would most likely NOT see all the people I graduated with today, that I would most likely not see any of my close friends, and that I would not be here in about two months. It didn't hit me until the next-to-last hug I got from one of my friends which I've known since freshman year. Time goes by soooo fast, too fast for my liking. And the entire reality of it all just took me by surprise (took both of us by surprise) and we just cried on each other's shoulder. Technically, I started bawling my eyes out & so I made her cry. But, ugh...I just don't know.

I don't think I'm ready to grow up. I don't think I'm ready to go to college, I'm not exactly ready to meet new people. Put simply, I'm not ready to do anything. Maybe this feeling is temporary since I graduated today. And maybe a couple days or weeks from now I'll be super-duper happy I finished high school. I definitely know it's a time for keeping your old memories, and getting used to new beginnings, and I should just take it one step at a time...and I think that's what I'll do.

I'm currently getting texts from people inviting me to their parties, and I'm just not in the mood. Is it weird that I choose to stay home & watch movies rather than going out and partying today? I still feel like crying..